October 23, 2009 - That One Thing Where...

As is typical of life, relationships happen. You begin to talk with someone and realize that you have a few things in common. Then you talk more, and consider yourselves acquaintances. After a few more conversations, you begin to consider yourselves friends. Things go well for a while. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, they stop talking to you. Or things just sort of go awry and you slowly stop talking or seeing one another all together. I'm tired of that. I don't like it. It makes me feel like I've done something wrong, or was not worthy of that person's friendship. As if having heavy duty social complexes was not enough already, these people make me feel like I am the bottom of the barrel when it comes to friends. Its like being picked last for teams in elementary school kick ball. It made you feel like crap. And here I am, wondering why this happens. Its devastating. People believe that friendships are like Aspen leaves. In the Spring, new buds appear. Later on those buds erupt into leaves. Those leaves endure a long Summer of life, and then when Fall rolls around, they shrivel up and die. Why does this have to be so? I would like to believe that friendships are more amongst the realm of pine trees. Needles grow and stay green Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter--all freakin' year round. Friendships are not seasonal. They are enduring, lasting. I wish they weren't so based on physical appearance, either, because that is generally the case. You see someone and his/her style and decide that you like it. Apparently that grants enough ground for a relationship. How that is, I don't know. While this could very well be the gateway to a very real and wonderful friendship, it can also be its doom. As soon as that person changes his/her style, things go down the tubes. What's up with that? Or as soon as someone gains weight, people start dropping them like a bad habit? And I know that these are terribly broad generalizations, but they are oh so true. There are people everywhere who have done this at one point. I even considered it at one point--but quickly realized how stupid this line of thinking is. Friendships should not be based on appearance, or even simply common ground. Friendships are based on personalities and deep ties to one another on a spiritual level. Simply because someone makes a lifestyle change or gains/loses weight that is no reason to abandon them as a friend. If there lifestyle becomes destructive towards you, however, it may be time to consider finding a new friend, or at least taking a break. Friendships are based on understanding of one another's flaws and problems. Understanding, patience, and love are key in any friendship. Without these things, they are fickle and weak. Suffice to say, I am sick and tired of false friendships. If you are my friend, please be my friend. Do not talk to me for a while and then simply abandon me in the dust as you move on to supposedly 'better' friends.