January 27, 2006 - Gender Issues

You know what? I wish I had more guy friends. No, not boyfriends, just guy friends. More often than not, guys are way more fun than s. I was raised with three brothers, so what can you expect? I enjoy getting dirty, you know? Doing all that guy stuff is just so much more fun than getting a manicure or a facial or any of that other y stuff. Playing paintball and using having airsoft wars, doing all the other stuff that my brother does with his friends that I can't do because I'm not a guy and I don't want to cramp his style, not to mention none of his friends would ever hang out with me. Sure they're nice, but they aren't my friends. I have friends (sort of) and most of them live anywhere from 1 to 3 hours away. I only have two guy friends and they're back in Truckee. I can't visit them often enough, so I want to find more guy friends up here in Incline. Too bad I didn't get in with the right crowd when we moved to Incline. Once again, I botched my chance to get in with the broader crowd. The middle class, as I call it. Not the lower class or upper class, the middle class. The upper class are the preppy people and I definitely don't want to be one of them. The lower class are the people who are just not cool enough for people to hang with. I'm one of them. I'm not saying the people there are bad, there just aren't many of them. I want to be in the Middle Class, where most of the High School fit in. There are so many cool people there, but I messed up and can't make my way up now. If I was more outgoing and had more courage, then I could probably make it, but I don't. I'm shy and am always afraid of the things that could go wrong. If only, if only... But what can you do, you know? For know I'm going to have to stick with my brother, make friends through the Youth Group and keep on working. After all, its only my freshman year.