February 23, 2007 - How Awesome, Your Love

Jesus,

There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. None of the things in my heart could manifest themselves in words. All I see when I close my eyes is You and the image is never the same. You are unchanging, but everyday I learn something new about You and I wonder how it is that I doubt You sometimes. I want to get down on my knees, look up to the sky everyday and ask "What can I do for You today, Lord? What do You want for me to do?" And though there are many things that seem to get in the way, I can always make time for You.

Just today, the Lord spared my hands and feet. Yeah, it sounds strange. But just listen. Today at the Hot Springs I wouldn't go into the water because I didn't have a bathing suit so I started walking around in the marshes near the spring. At this point in time it was really windy and it was snowing mildly. So, contrary to all reasonable logic, I went to play in the soggy marshes. Of course, when I came back, my feet were wet and cold. At first it wasn't so bad, but gradually the weather got worse and it started snowing harder. I sat on the wooden walkway rocking back and forth with Sandstorm blasting in my headphones, eyes closed, trying not to focus on how cold my feet were. Eventually I couldn't keep the cold out of my mind any longer so I took off my shoes and stuck my feet in the hot spring, trying desperately to regain some feeling in my feet. Of course my parents came over and began looking at my feet. Both my mom and step dad gasped and started telling me that it was bad that my feet were completely white. Holding my feet and pouring water on them, the my parents 'nursed' my feet back to a state good enough for walking and then forced me back to the car so I could warm up. In trying to get the keys out of my mom's vest pocket I lost all the warmth in my hands as well and could barely unzip the pocket. Keys and wet socks in hand, I began running back to the car with my unlaced, frozen Converse sneakers. As I started the long trek back to the car my body surged with adrenaline. "I might actually have to get my feet or hands amputated," I thought to myself suddenly. I was so full of adrenaline I had barely noticed that I had run out of breath and my hands felt non-existent. In a last-ditch effort to save my hands I stuck them in my mouth one at a time and let my heavy, warm breath envelope them. Slowly feeling came back to both my hands and I looked up into the blizzard. Just around the last bend in the walkway was the car. Feeling like I could keel over and die at any moment I took advantage of the heavy dose of adrenaline running through my veins. Walking as quickly as my legs would allow, I made it to the driver's side of the truck and struggled to unlock the car door with numb hands. Thank goodness for those buttons that unlock the car doors. Mashing my dead finger into the button, the doors unlocked and I jumped inside. The only relief of the car was that it kept the wind out. Thanking God for that alone, I tried for at least 30 long seconds to shove the key into the ignition. Finally managing to accomplish that, I started the car and immediately started stripping off my frozen shoes with numb fingers. Tossing my shoes, I threw off my jacket and spent the next several minutes trying to figure out how I could get the most hot air flowing through the car at one time. Somehow managing to turn on the heaters I suddenly went from whimpering to laughter. My reaction to the situation was even confusing to me. I crawled around the car trying to find the warmest place. When I decided that the driver's seat was the best place, I sat back for a moment and looked down at my feet. To my utter surprise, they were turning black. Without hesitation I lifted them to the dashboard heaters and started rubbing them vigorously, praying that my feet wouldn't get frost bite and have to amputated. As one foot slowly regained color and blood circulation I noticed that my hands had also started turning black. "Awesome," I thought to myself sarcastically, "No feet and no hands." Taking a moment from my feet I rubbed the backs of my hands. I have no idea how long it took to get color back in my left foot, but it seemed like an eternity. When I had sufficiently recovered, my party started returning one by one to the car. I returned to our residence with two hands and two feet. And all I can say is

Thank God

For it is He who allowed me to keep my feet and my hands. It was not by my own doing that my extremities were saved, but by His mercy. Thank you Lord for my hands and feet. Even though I screw up and dissapoint You, You never take revenge on me. You continue to take mercy on me and perform big and small miracles for me. Why do I slip in and out of this understanding when it is so plain to see? You love me. Simple as that. And because You do, I have hands and feet. ?