The ship could float, they knew full well, in fact
They knew it could do much more than that
It was fine, sea-worthy, steady--
Yet everyone jumped ship like it was sinking
I stood and watched at they pitched themselves
One by one back out to sea
The waters rages and spit salt in their faces
But it looked as though
They didn't care.
Like anything was better than being where they were
And I'm not even sure they knew in the first place
Under what flag they sailed.
They left without reason, without knowing they had,
As if called by a siren's song out into the deep.
And it made me sad to see them go
Watching confused and frustrated, standing
I was on the same deck as they
Stood on level ground,
Yet they thought I was less and deigned not to heed my watchful eye.
What power they had, jumping off that bow, over those railings, and off that rigging
What powerful impressions they left
To watch as another one jumped and sank, all the while not knowing they were
And every minute I told myself
I would never do as they
Yet with each word, edging closer to the sea.
And every passing minute
I begin to see
A little more of what it meant
to truly be
Just like one of them
Those people who I "knew"
who suddenly believed that life existed, not on this ship
But under those crushing waves.
I want what you want!
I am tempted in the same ways!
So much more love, so much more to lose and gain, by staying on this ship and reaching land someday!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Facebook Edition: January 8, 2009 - Can You Feel It?
1. Put your iPod on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Right Here, Right Now - Fatboy Slim
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Two Step - Dave Matthews Band
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Dracula Moon - Joan Osbourne
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Vacuum - In Flames
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
One - Metallica
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Ten Thousand Fists - Disturbed
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Halo 2 Theme Mjolnir Mix - Halo 2 OST
WHAT IS 2+2?
So I Thought - Flyleaf
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Anna Molly - Incubus
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Of Wolf and Man - Metallica
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Ants Marching - Dave Matthews Band
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Take A Look Around - Limp Bizkit
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Charlie - Red Hot Chili Peppers
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
I Get It - Chevelle
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Teenager - Deftones
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Noose - A Perfect Circle
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Easily - Red Hot Chili Peppers
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Just Stop - Disturbed
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Slow Cheetah - Red Hot Chili Peppers
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Bound for the Floor - Local H
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
String Quartet Op. 18, No. 1 - Vanguard Classics
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
The Down Town - Days of the New
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Doperide - Saliva
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Better Man - Pearl Jam
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Pictures of You - The Cure
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
King Nothing - Metallica
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
The Quiet Place - In Flames
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Let You Down - Dave Matthews Band
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Heresy - Nine Inch Nails
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Can You Feel It? - David Crowder
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Right Here, Right Now - Fatboy Slim
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Two Step - Dave Matthews Band
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Dracula Moon - Joan Osbourne
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Vacuum - In Flames
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
One - Metallica
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Ten Thousand Fists - Disturbed
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Halo 2 Theme Mjolnir Mix - Halo 2 OST
WHAT IS 2+2?
So I Thought - Flyleaf
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Anna Molly - Incubus
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Of Wolf and Man - Metallica
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Ants Marching - Dave Matthews Band
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Take A Look Around - Limp Bizkit
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Charlie - Red Hot Chili Peppers
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
I Get It - Chevelle
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Teenager - Deftones
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Noose - A Perfect Circle
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Easily - Red Hot Chili Peppers
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Just Stop - Disturbed
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Slow Cheetah - Red Hot Chili Peppers
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Bound for the Floor - Local H
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
String Quartet Op. 18, No. 1 - Vanguard Classics
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
The Down Town - Days of the New
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Doperide - Saliva
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Better Man - Pearl Jam
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Pictures of You - The Cure
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
King Nothing - Metallica
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
The Quiet Place - In Flames
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Let You Down - Dave Matthews Band
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Heresy - Nine Inch Nails
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Can You Feel It? - David Crowder
Facebook Edition: January 6, 2009 - Comparison
Sometimes I try to do things but it just doesn't work out the way I want it to, and I get real frustrated and then like I try hard to do it, and I like, take my time but it just doesn't work out the way I want it to. Its like, I concentrate on it real hard, but it just doesn't work out. And everything I do and everything I try, it never turns out. Its like, I need time to figure these things out, but theres always someone there going “Hey Mike, you know we've been noticing you've been having a lot of problems lately, you know? You need to maybe get away. And like, maybe you should talk about it, you'll feel a lot better.” And I'm all like “Oh, nah, its OK, you know. I'll figure it out. Just leave me alone, I'll figure it out, you know? I'm just working on it by myself.” And they go “Well, you know, if you wanna talk about it, I'll be here, you know? And you'll probably feel a lot better if you talk about it. So why don't you talk about it?” I go “No, I don't want to! I'm OK. I'll figure it out myself!” But they just keep bugging me, they just keep bugging me, and it builds up inside.
So you're gonna be institutionalized. You'll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes.
You won't have anything to say. They'll brainwash you until you see their way.
I'm not crazy - Institutionalized
You're the one that's crazy - Institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - Institutionalized
They stuck me in an institution, said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help to protect me from the enemy, myself.
I was in my room and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything, but then again I was thinking about nothing. And then my mom came in, and I didn't even know she was there. She called my name and I didn't hear her and then she started screaming “Mike, Mike!” And I go “What? What's the matter?” She goes “What's the matter with you?” I go “There's nothing wrong, mom.” She's all “don't tell me that! You're on drugs!” I go “No, mom I'm not on drugs. I'm ok, I'm just thinking, you know? Why don't you get me a Pepsi?” She goes “No! You're on drugs!” I go “Mom, I'm OK. I'm just thinking.” She goes “No! You're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal people don't be acting that way!” I go “Mom, just get me a Pepsi! Please, all I want is a Pepsi!” And she wouldn't give it to me! All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me! Just a Pepsi!
They give you a white shirt with long sleeves! Tied around your back, you're treated like thieves!
Drug you up because they're lazy! It's too much work to help a crazy!
I'm not crazy - Institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - Institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - Institutionalized
They stuck me in an institution, said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help, to protect me from the enemy, myself.
I'm sitting in my room, when my mom and my dad came in. They pulled up a chair and they sat down. They go “Mike, we need to talk to you.” And I go “OK, what's the matter?” They go “Me and your mom, we've noticed that lately you've been having a lot of problems, and you've been going off for no reason, and we're afraid you're going to hurt somebody, and we're afraid you're going to hurt yourself. So we decided that it would be in you're best interest if we put you somewhere where you could get the help that you need.” And I go “Wait, what are you talking about, WE decided? MY best interests? How do you know what MY best interest is? How can you say what MY best interest is? What are you trying to say? I'M crazy? When I went to YOUR schools, I went to YOUR churches, I went to YOUR institutional learning facilities. So how can you say I'M crazy?”
They say they're gonna fix my brain. Alleviate my suffering and my pain.
But by the time they fix my head. Mentally I'll be dead.
I'm not crazy - Institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - Institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - Institutionalized
They stuck me in an institution, said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help, to protect me from the enemy, myself.
Doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyways
((I can't believe how well this fits))
So you're gonna be institutionalized. You'll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes.
You won't have anything to say. They'll brainwash you until you see their way.
I'm not crazy - Institutionalized
You're the one that's crazy - Institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - Institutionalized
They stuck me in an institution, said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help to protect me from the enemy, myself.
I was in my room and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything, but then again I was thinking about nothing. And then my mom came in, and I didn't even know she was there. She called my name and I didn't hear her and then she started screaming “Mike, Mike!” And I go “What? What's the matter?” She goes “What's the matter with you?” I go “There's nothing wrong, mom.” She's all “don't tell me that! You're on drugs!” I go “No, mom I'm not on drugs. I'm ok, I'm just thinking, you know? Why don't you get me a Pepsi?” She goes “No! You're on drugs!” I go “Mom, I'm OK. I'm just thinking.” She goes “No! You're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal people don't be acting that way!” I go “Mom, just get me a Pepsi! Please, all I want is a Pepsi!” And she wouldn't give it to me! All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me! Just a Pepsi!
They give you a white shirt with long sleeves! Tied around your back, you're treated like thieves!
Drug you up because they're lazy! It's too much work to help a crazy!
I'm not crazy - Institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - Institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - Institutionalized
They stuck me in an institution, said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help, to protect me from the enemy, myself.
I'm sitting in my room, when my mom and my dad came in. They pulled up a chair and they sat down. They go “Mike, we need to talk to you.” And I go “OK, what's the matter?” They go “Me and your mom, we've noticed that lately you've been having a lot of problems, and you've been going off for no reason, and we're afraid you're going to hurt somebody, and we're afraid you're going to hurt yourself. So we decided that it would be in you're best interest if we put you somewhere where you could get the help that you need.” And I go “Wait, what are you talking about, WE decided? MY best interests? How do you know what MY best interest is? How can you say what MY best interest is? What are you trying to say? I'M crazy? When I went to YOUR schools, I went to YOUR churches, I went to YOUR institutional learning facilities. So how can you say I'M crazy?”
They say they're gonna fix my brain. Alleviate my suffering and my pain.
But by the time they fix my head. Mentally I'll be dead.
I'm not crazy - Institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - Institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - Institutionalized
They stuck me in an institution, said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help, to protect me from the enemy, myself.
Doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyways
((I can't believe how well this fits))
Facebook Edition: December 27, 2008 - Rita...
...never thought a lot of things.
Yet things still seemed to happen.
I feel like an egg yolk wrapped in cold with a layer of purple...sitting in a bowl of lemon custard in a dark corner of the basement.
Yet things still seemed to happen.
I feel like an egg yolk wrapped in cold with a layer of purple...sitting in a bowl of lemon custard in a dark corner of the basement.
Facebook Edition: December 23, 2008 - Life's Just A Lesson, You Learn It When You're Through...
A very important someone told me very recently that "entire segments of life are a stretch right now." A stretch. How well put.
Things, particularly one thing, one thing called life, is wearing extremely thin. The delicate fabric is about to break and only a handful have noticed. Tied to their spines, like puppet strings, hooked to the slimy film of life. Encircling it, they walk outward, stretching, stretching, the resistence heavy and thick as their bodies. But no one seems to notice that it gets harder each time their foot hits the floor.
No one seems to notice that their spines are about to snap, the string is about to unravel, the film about to burst.
Life used to mean so much to them...to you...to me.
And then we all turned around. Took it from its cradle and hooked it to our bony backs, through the skin, emaciated and white. Black eyes stared uselessly and blindly as we looked at each other one last time and walked out, walked away from everything and everyone. Occassionally the glimpse of light caught someone's eye, here or there, and they turned for just a moment, just long enough to gaze back at that slimy membrane as it tugged at its people's flesh. And then...almost reluctantly...but faithful as ever, to the mindless call of isolation, they turned again...and started walking. Slowly, step by step as the burden grew greater, heavier.
And now a couple, maybe one or two, have turned around and looked at each other. The crowd moves outward still, but several of its links are reluctant, stubborn...
There is still much more to be decided. I wish you could see what I see in my head, this picture that I have. Its dismal, yes, dark and unpleasant. But what did you expect? My head isn't full of rainbows and ponies. Its full of paradoxes and contradictions...things that work when they shouldn't and are beautiful when they're not supposed to be.
Wake up! Everything is like some sick circus...
A beautiful, demented, twisted, sadistic, wonderful circus that God created to be much better than I make it sound.
God help me yet to be the person that you want me to be.
Right now, more than ever, I need to reach up to you...not have you bend down for me. I'm not trying my hardest, I know I'm not. I can do better, and I will do better.
A Servant
Things, particularly one thing, one thing called life, is wearing extremely thin. The delicate fabric is about to break and only a handful have noticed. Tied to their spines, like puppet strings, hooked to the slimy film of life. Encircling it, they walk outward, stretching, stretching, the resistence heavy and thick as their bodies. But no one seems to notice that it gets harder each time their foot hits the floor.
No one seems to notice that their spines are about to snap, the string is about to unravel, the film about to burst.
Life used to mean so much to them...to you...to me.
And then we all turned around. Took it from its cradle and hooked it to our bony backs, through the skin, emaciated and white. Black eyes stared uselessly and blindly as we looked at each other one last time and walked out, walked away from everything and everyone. Occassionally the glimpse of light caught someone's eye, here or there, and they turned for just a moment, just long enough to gaze back at that slimy membrane as it tugged at its people's flesh. And then...almost reluctantly...but faithful as ever, to the mindless call of isolation, they turned again...and started walking. Slowly, step by step as the burden grew greater, heavier.
And now a couple, maybe one or two, have turned around and looked at each other. The crowd moves outward still, but several of its links are reluctant, stubborn...
There is still much more to be decided. I wish you could see what I see in my head, this picture that I have. Its dismal, yes, dark and unpleasant. But what did you expect? My head isn't full of rainbows and ponies. Its full of paradoxes and contradictions...things that work when they shouldn't and are beautiful when they're not supposed to be.
Wake up! Everything is like some sick circus...
A beautiful, demented, twisted, sadistic, wonderful circus that God created to be much better than I make it sound.
God help me yet to be the person that you want me to be.
Right now, more than ever, I need to reach up to you...not have you bend down for me. I'm not trying my hardest, I know I'm not. I can do better, and I will do better.
A Servant
Facebook Edition: December 17, 2008 - Music, Not Just Words
It is said that words are the overflow of the heart. What comes out of your mouth is what lives in your heart. Currently, I am finding that this is true and then some.
The then some is a not a new revelation for me...I know what one of those then some's is.
What I am now realizing with greater clarity is that what comes out of your mouth matters just as much as what comes out of your headphones...
The things that spew from headphones and are absorbed into the head are not to be overlooked. Lately, the music I have been listening to has been...less than pleasant. And it doesn't do anything for me. The feelings I have while listening to this music is fleeting...intense, but fleeting (and oh so meaningless, I am realizing).
Yet, when I listen to music that speaks to my heart, I am strengthened and encouraged. The feeling of rot and atrophy that I am barely conscious of, the slight irritation is presents, begins to heal and I feel content, whole, at peace.
Take whatever you will from this little note. It is hear to be thought about.
The then some is a not a new revelation for me...I know what one of those then some's is.
What I am now realizing with greater clarity is that what comes out of your mouth matters just as much as what comes out of your headphones...
The things that spew from headphones and are absorbed into the head are not to be overlooked. Lately, the music I have been listening to has been...less than pleasant. And it doesn't do anything for me. The feelings I have while listening to this music is fleeting...intense, but fleeting (and oh so meaningless, I am realizing).
Yet, when I listen to music that speaks to my heart, I am strengthened and encouraged. The feeling of rot and atrophy that I am barely conscious of, the slight irritation is presents, begins to heal and I feel content, whole, at peace.
Take whatever you will from this little note. It is hear to be thought about.
Facebook Edition: December 4, 2008 - 16 Things...
Directions:
Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random things, shortcomings, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 16 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
1. I have a really hard time opening up and telling people anything about myself.
2. I have severe self-esteem issues and believe that I'm not worth a bucket of crap. And I refuse to agree with anyone who tells me otherwise.
3. God is the most important thing in my life. Ever.
4. Traveling is something I will never stop doing.
5. I often write all over my body as a form of catharsis.
6. I am fated to be an empath, a cynic, and a social recluse all at the same time.
7. I'm terribly indecisive and have great trouble forming any sort of definitive answer to anything.
8. Depression is the most familiar place I know, and I feel best when I am there.
9. I constantly try to vanquish my depression, but I never win.
10. I am incredibly sensitive on the inside, but have a natural talent for absorbing the mood of the atmosphere in which I am in and therefore can do an excellent job of covering up my feelings.
11. When things get too hard, I often wish I could curl up on my floor in the fetal position in pitch blackness and wait for the world to leave me alone.
12. I wish a lot of things that aren't possible, but my hope spawns from these.
13. Despite my constant cynicism, I actually do have faith in the human race.
14. I feel threatened by all women who I don't know.
15. I am scared of everyone.
16. I like forks more than I have a right to.
Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random things, shortcomings, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 16 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
1. I have a really hard time opening up and telling people anything about myself.
2. I have severe self-esteem issues and believe that I'm not worth a bucket of crap. And I refuse to agree with anyone who tells me otherwise.
3. God is the most important thing in my life. Ever.
4. Traveling is something I will never stop doing.
5. I often write all over my body as a form of catharsis.
6. I am fated to be an empath, a cynic, and a social recluse all at the same time.
7. I'm terribly indecisive and have great trouble forming any sort of definitive answer to anything.
8. Depression is the most familiar place I know, and I feel best when I am there.
9. I constantly try to vanquish my depression, but I never win.
10. I am incredibly sensitive on the inside, but have a natural talent for absorbing the mood of the atmosphere in which I am in and therefore can do an excellent job of covering up my feelings.
11. When things get too hard, I often wish I could curl up on my floor in the fetal position in pitch blackness and wait for the world to leave me alone.
12. I wish a lot of things that aren't possible, but my hope spawns from these.
13. Despite my constant cynicism, I actually do have faith in the human race.
14. I feel threatened by all women who I don't know.
15. I am scared of everyone.
16. I like forks more than I have a right to.
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